Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize