my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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