i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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