if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize