when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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