Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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