You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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