For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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