Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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