I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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