grandma shit on top of the toilet
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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