I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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