First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
COCAINE IS GR8
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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