just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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