Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize