just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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