Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize