Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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  (609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings (856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days http://tfl.nu/m946
  Replies (25) Good night (4131) Bad night (643)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

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  (215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months? http://tfl.nu/2j7i
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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  (309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!

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  (978): so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole! http://tfl.nu/ivhw
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  (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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  (310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh
  Replies (15) Good night (4495) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it

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  (603): Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it http://tfl.nu/mjt1
  Replies (17) Good night (6940) Bad night (930)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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  (615): im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused. http://tfl.nu/4oz4
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.

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  (860): It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life. http://tfl.nu/wu6z
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE

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  (575): I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE http://tfl.nu/fcs3
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
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  (518): View more from New York

  Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.

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  (518): Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/9gud
  Replies (7) Good night (1723) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.

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  (203): Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar. http://tfl.nu/i0ni
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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  (303): I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day. http://tfl.nu/g7z2
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.

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  (386): Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately. http://tfl.nu/yc56
  Replies (1) Good night (1176) Bad night (209)

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