I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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