I didn't shave. On purpose
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
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I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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