there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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