My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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