Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize