I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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