well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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