apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize