I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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