why didn't you poke me back
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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