I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize