like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
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he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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