just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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