Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize