woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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