so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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