I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize