I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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