i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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