My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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