Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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