He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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