you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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