Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize