Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight

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  (313): It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight http://tfl.nu/fbzk
  Replies (1) Good night (1228) Bad night (1307) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  whjeg hajt iyt

  (914): View more from New York

  say what?

  (845): View more from New York

  wanna hang out?

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  (845): whjeg hajt iyt (914): say what? (845): wanna hang out? http://tfl.nu/4g99
  Replies (8) Good night (1260) Bad night (417)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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  (717): How was your Memorial Day? (1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name. http://tfl.nu/grou
  Replies (10) Good night (3638) Bad night (546)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.

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  (417): apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me. http://tfl.nu/fe7a
  Replies (2) Good night (2380) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8126) Bad night (554)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's a collector of sorts

  (713): View more from Texas

  Any cool stuff?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk

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  (832): He's a collector of sorts (713): Any cool stuff? (832): You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk http://tfl.nu/cuoh
  Replies (10) Good night (427) Bad night (3894)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would be honored to be that friend.

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  (978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl
  Replies (22) Good night (5817) Bad night (559)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

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  (612): My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome! http://tfl.nu/2tqo
  Replies (79) Good night (17771) Bad night (785)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (5935) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why is your signature on my underwear?

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  (419): Why is your signature on my underwear? http://tfl.nu/8itl
  Replies (19) Good night (6008) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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  (508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig? http://tfl.nu/6st9
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (2663) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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  (707): I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA http://tfl.nu/ppt3
  Replies (23) Good night (2950) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks

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  (260): U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks http://tfl.nu/ak2u
  Replies (9) Good night (2289) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you

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  (408): I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you http://tfl.nu/72n4
  Replies (15) Good night (2155) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Most creative movie date proposition... ever.

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  (630): Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes? (708): Most creative movie date proposition... ever. http://tfl.nu/whek
  Replies (5) Good night (1398) Bad night (605)

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