So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
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PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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