TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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