i just google imaged poop.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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