don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How does one acquire holy water?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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