Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize