I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
this just has baby written all over it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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