i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sarcasm needs its own font
I understand Curling. That high.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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